Friday, January 4, 2008

More on Chicken

Port Arthur, Texas; In response to recent trade inequities relating to the price per pound of imported Mexican chicken, what is alleged to be a coalition of Arkansas chicken farmers dressed as Native Americans, illegally boarded a Mexican shipping vessel carrying 10,000 lbs of poultry and proceeded to dump it into the port.

Port Arthur police department reports that at approximately 2.30 am on May 12, a security guard called police after witnessing what he reported as "Indians dumping chicken into the bay". The police responded but not before the accused could dump approximately 8,000 lbs of the poultry into the port.

"It was quite a scene" said Port Arthur police chief Brian Dunahoe. " We boarded the boat and there they were. All dressed up in Indian garb, drunker than 7 ...chicken farmers. Throwing the chicken into the water. A couple of them were stumbling and making Indian war cries. When we tried to apprehend the perps, a few of them started chopping at us with their plastic hatchets and one of my officers took a moccasin in the face." the Chief continued. "Only one of them went quietly, stating that he would, 'fight no more forever'"

The accused were then booked into Port Arthur police station for questioning and arraignment. The names of the persons in question have not been released but it is assumed that most of the 5 men were members of the Arkansas Poultry Farmers Coalition. The APFC was unavailable for comment and it is possible that all five of its charter members were a part of the event.

The 5 men were seen earlier in the night drinking at some of Port Arthur's night spots. They were Identified as wearing full head dresses and carrying plastic hatchets and rubber tipped plastic bows and arrows. They were last seen at the Shipwreck Tavern. Approximately 1 mile from the dock that the Mexican shipping vessel "La Bonita" was ported.

"It was a strange sight indeed" said Shipwreck Bartender Larry "lar" Lalonde. "They were hootin' and hollerin' and carryin on an the like." Larry continued, "They were a nuisance to say the least. They drank a lot and tried to barter for drinks with beads and old stinky carpet they insisted was fur pelts. Eventually they paid up". Larry then said that things turned sour. " It was closing time and I told them they had to drink up. they started whooping and shouting about fire water then they started circling me shooting plastic arrows." At this point Larry with the help of some other patrons convinced them to leave. "they stumbled out the door and that's the last I saw of them".

The 5 men then proceeded on to the vessel in question. Sources say that they were trying to mimic the Boston Tea Party presumably to make a statement that Mexican chicken is no longer welcome in the United States.


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